


Obliterate

by SEMellark



Category: Wolf's Rain
Genre: Angst, Depictions of Abuse, Depression, Developing Friendships, Families of Choice, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 18:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEMellark/pseuds/SEMellark
Summary: AU. A chance encounter with two of the most unorthodox wolves he'd ever met forced Toboe to come to terms with what he'd spent so long trying to suppress.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2014/2015. I wrote a few things for the Wolf's Rain fandom back in the day, but this is the only completed work I actually want to move from my ancient FF.net page *sign of the cross* to my AO3. Just gonna upload it all tonight, so I apologize for any annoying, rapid emails you might receive!
> 
> Also, if anyone still hasn't seen Wolf's Rain in 2019, then you need to. It meant a lot to me four/five years ago and it still does to this day.

Toboe was only a pup when he first accepted the likelihood that he was going to die.

It was in the harshest months of winter, the first time that Toboe had been left to his own devices to survive. Unable to even hunt properly, he'd eaten bark and the carcasses of animals that had succumbed to the chill of the season before he did. It was a haunting and terrifying existence, and Toboe would like to forget it if only he were able.

He was at his lowest point when he decided death would be merciful. He'd wandered into the territory of a large wolf pack whose residents didn't much care for malnourished wolf pups encroaching on their land. Hunger and loneliness had driven Toboe into the heart of their territory, and when he was finally chased out, he left a substantial trail of blood in his wake.

They didn't bother to go after him. The alphas of that pack knew that the scrawny wolf they'd mauled wouldn't survive the night, and they howled and snarled at his back as Toboe limped across the frozen river that marked the end of that pack's territory.

The crows had circled him. Toboe watched them through the blood that dripped from his torn ear into his eyes, and at one point, the young wolf was certain he felt one land on his back, though he was too delirious at that point to do anything about it. Finally, when more of his blood was soaking into the freshly fallen snow than circulating throughout his body, Toboe allowed himself to stop moving.

The snow that had once nipped at his paws and made sleep nearly impossible was so warm as Toboe sunk into it, the crows cawing to one another in the treetops. It reminded Toboe of how things had been back in his den, a place that he barely remembered but still cherished in the darkest recesses of his mind. He remembered he'd been happy there. He'd been happy when he left it, too, but he'd had company then. He hadn't been alone.

Toboe was no stranger to death. It had followed him all his life, and as the crows fluttered down with the snow, the young wolf was prepared to greet death like an old friend; but just as the crows started to pick at the wounds inflicted by the wolves from across the river, a snarl pierced the air and Toboe heard wings flapping frantically in an effort to get away. Alive enough to feel curious, the near-starved wolf pup forced his eyes to open.

Paws. White ones that would have blended almost perfectly into the snow if it weren't for the black feathers caught in the claws and the blood that stained the fur. Toboe's insides heaved in panic as he slowly realized that the newcomer was another wolf, and the whimper that escaped through his clamped jaws sounded as pathetic as Toboe felt.

"Don't move." A voice said, calm and clear, strong yet soothing. Unnerving didn't even begin to describe the situation. It had been so long since Toboe had come across someone who didn't immediately try to kill him. "You'll bleed out."

Toboe didn't bother to say anything. He could smell the blood in the air, and if it hadn't been his own, his mouth probably would have been watering. He was just waiting for the white wolf to finish what the wolves across the river had started. It would have been a kindness.

The paws moved out of Toboe's line of sight, and when he finally lost consciousness, it was to the sensation of a tongue rasping over one of the wounds on his side, so much warmer than the snow.


	2. Chapter 2

When Toboe came to, it wasn't long before he found himself wishing for death again.

The white wolf in the woods had spared Toboe's life for whatever reason, dragging him back to his makeshift den instead of leaving him to the crows. Toboe learned quickly that his name was Kiba, and he had a companion named Hige, a thick-furred, loudmouth of a wolf that was opposite to Kiba in almost every way.

Toboe couldn't figure either of them out. They were both males, and while it wasn't odd for adolescent male wolves to leave the pack of their birth once they were old enough, Kiba and Hige didn't seem to have any interest in finding another group to call their own any time soon.

Hige seemed to find a certain amount of amusement in pushing Kiba to the edge of his endurance, but no matter how hard the brown-furred wolf prodded, Kiba never snapped. It was odd. Toboe could tell just from observing them that Kiba was the alpha male of their coalition, Hige just along for the ride. Why the yellow-eyed wolf didn't assert his dominance was beyond Toboe, but it was unsettling to say the least.

Kiba was the leader, but he was entirely too soft-spoken. He even had a bit of an awkward side that even Hige didn't possess, but it was one of Kiba's qualities that almost made Toboe want to trust him. Since there were only two of them, Toboe wasn't quite sure what Hige's role in the pack was, but he was certainly more outspoken than Kiba, and he didn't hesitate when it came to throwing his weight around.

Under different circumstances, Toboe could have seen himself growing to like them.

The young pup spent the winter with them, recovering from his injuries and building up his strength. Kiba was away from the den for days on end – patrolling the area, Hige often said – so it was mostly up to Hige to catch food for Toboe and make sure none of his wounds became infected.

The sun had made multiple journeys through the sky by the time Toboe worked up the nerve to say what had been on his mind ever since Kiba saved him from dying out in the snow.

"You should have let me die." Kiba had been gone for almost two days at that point, leaving Toboe in Hige's ever-pleasant company; not that Toboe minded any. He preferred Hige's soft amber eyes and playful spirit to Kiba's piercing yellow gaze and aloof demeanor. "Why didn't you?"

Hige had been grooming himself, licking at his fur languidly in preparation for a nap, but he paused when Toboe spoke up, frozen mid-lick as his ears stood erect. "… Did you _want_ Kiba to leave you there?" Hige asked eventually, staring at Toboe as if the younger wolf had sprouted a second head. "You were pretty messed up when he brought you back here. If I were you, I'd be grateful."

"I'm not _un_ grateful, just – " Toboe looked to the mouth of the small den, inherently terrified for reasons he couldn't understand. He was still pretty young, and the older wolves put him on edge. He didn't want to upset them, but he also couldn't put how he'd felt the day Kiba found him into words. "I don't understand."

"Sorry to break it to you, but we're not the kind of wolves to leave a starving pup out in the wilderness by himself." In all the months Toboe had known Hige, he'd never heard the older wolf sound quite that angry before. "I don't know what happened to you, and I won't ask, but don't lump us in with whoever it was that put you in that condition, okay?"

Toboe only shook his head, and Hige huffed in annoyance before curling up in a tight ball, finally ready for his nap. It didn't matter what Hige said. Sooner or later, they were going to be sorry for rescuing Toboe, of that the wolf pup was certain.


	3. Chapter 3

Thorns and burs stuck to his body, easily pushing through his thin fur and scratching and tearing as Toboe darted through the trees. The scent of blood was thick in the air, hot and musky and suffocating, and terror began to mount the longer the young wolf remained in the dark forest.

"Toboe!" Toboe skidded to a stop, spinning around in frantic circles as he peered through the darkness, desperate to locate the voice calling out to him. It was faint, but the tawny-eyed wolf had always had exceptional hearing. Thus far, his ability has done him no favors. "Toboe, where are you?"

"I'm here!" Toboe cried, whining in distress as he continued to spin, jerking left and right, unsure of where to go. The voice was coming from every direction, bouncing off the trees and soaking into the ground beneath Toboe's paws. "I'm here, I'm coming. But where are you? I can't see you!"

"Toboe? Toboe!"

Tawny eyes snapped open when the voice crying out changed, and Toboe sat up quickly, struggling to keep his breathing under control. He was back in Kiba and Hige's den, as safe as he could possibly be, but he was still on edge. It was dark, probably almost midnight, and it took Toboe another tense moment before he realized that he'd been dreaming again.

He glanced around to find that Kiba had left his spot beside Hige and was standing over him, fur standing on edge and yellow eyes piercing in the gloom. Toboe blinked up at the older wolf, instinctively shying away. Kiba seemed to notice and took a half-step back. "Are you okay?" Kiba asked tersely, as if he were prepared to fight off any unseen force that could have been disturbing the younger wolf so late. "You were crying out in your sleep."

"Was I?" Toboe murmured, sinking back down into the leaves when his limbs started to tremble, tucking his tail close to his body. It was especially cold at night, but Toboe wasn't in a place to huddle with Hige and Kiba for warmth. They'd tried to convince him multiple times that it would help to improve his health, but just the thought of being touched by another wolf was enough to make Toboe physically sick. Even if it meant spending each night shivering in his fur, he wasn't going to cross that barrier. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You don't have to apologize." Hige piped up, voice drowsy and thick with sleep as he watched Toboe from his spot on the other side of the den. He'd yet to move, head still resting on his paws, but he was looking more coherent with each passing second. "We all have nightmares."

Toboe stiffened, and he couldn't help the glare that he sent Hige's way. "I was _not_ having a nightmare."

Hige snorted. "Coulda fooled me."

"Hush," Kiba said sternly, using one of his hind paws to scrape leaves and pine needles back into Hige's face, eliciting a sneeze from the other wolf. "Are you okay now, Toboe?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because – "

"I said I'm _fine,_ " Toboe snapped, turning his back on Kiba to lie facing the wall on his side of the den. In all seriousness, the pup was far from fine. He remembered his dream explicitly and all the events that inspired it, and if he wasn't careful, it was going to happen again.

Toboe wasn't a mean-spirited wolf. He enjoyed the company of others and desperately hated to be alone. Being rude to Kiba was the last thing Toboe wanted to do, but he didn't have any other option. His health was improving, and Hige had been showing him how to hunt properly even if Toboe wasn't strong enough to leave the den yet.

Once Toboe could move without pain shooting up his limbs, he would leave this place behind and travel to some faraway land where other wolves were rare. Kiba and Hige and the kindness they'd shown him would only be a distant memory.

He both dreaded and anticipated that day.

There were a few nearly unbearable moments of silence before Toboe heard Kiba sighing to himself. "Okay," he said quietly, and Toboe listened as he returned to Hige's side and settled down for the second time that night.

Toboe stared straight ahead as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, and when Kiba's and Hige's breathing finally evened out once more with sleep, the young wolf allowed a single whimper to escape him.


	4. Chapter 4

Toboe's desire to bolt only grew stronger with each passing day.

Companionship was almost foreign to him at that point in his life. Oftentimes he would lie awake in the early morning hours, listening to the wind blow outside, only to receive the shock of his life when Hige woke up with a snort or Kiba stumbled in from his early morning patrol. It was almost too easy to forget that he wasn't fending for himself, but then, it was impossible to ignore.

Kiba and Hige obviously didn't know what to do about him. They would murmur to one another when they believed Toboe to be asleep, but the young wolf had gotten so good at closing himself off to things he didn't want to think about that their voices meshed together almost perfectly, forming some language Toboe didn't have a prayer of understanding.

It was just as he wanted it. Back in the old days, survival meant focusing only on the small slivers of hope that promised a brighter tomorrow and absolutely nothing else. It was best to ignore the whispers of deceit and revolution, because no one wanted to be labeled a rebel unjustly. All things considered, Toboe hadn't spent an especially large amount of time in the pack of his birth, but it felt like a lifetime.

One day, Kiba suggested that Toboe leave the den for small amounts of time once the sun went up. "You won't get any better if your muscles deteriorate." He'd said simply.

Toboe had to agree, and he wondered why he'd never thought of that before. A small part of him whispered to be careful, but the young wolf ignored it. So each day, when the sun was about halfway across the sky, Toboe would trail after Hige as the older, larger wolf bounded out of the den. "Fresh air!" He'd exclaimed the first day they went out, shaking out his thick ruff while Toboe looked on. "Man, I don't get enough of this anymore. Guess it's the price I have to pay for pup-sitting you, huh?"

The pup in question ignored the comment and focused on putting one paw in front of the other without stumbling.

After many weeks of remaining immobile underground, Toboe finally managed to survey his surroundings properly while exercising with Hige. The entrance that led into the den was an obvious hole in an otherwise gapless array of fallen logs. Toboe believed that in the spring and summer seasons, the foliage would grow big enough that the entrance wouldn't be so obvious.

The den site itself was in the middle of a part of the forest Toboe had never been to before. Until that day the wolves had mauled him bloody, the young wolf had previously had no reason to cross the river and into this territory. There were plenty of places for prey to hide that would be easy to sniff out, and Hige found his fair share of small animals startled out of their sleep by two large predators walking by.

Their trips were interesting, to say the least. Sometimes, if he was awake or even around, Kiba would accompany them, ready to steady Toboe if he stumbled or hustle them back to the den if something seemed off. Toboe wasn't quite sure what they were both so afraid of, why Kiba had to spend extended periods of time away from the den.

As far as he could tell, this part of the forest was safe. He hadn't smelled or caught sight of a single wolf or any other animal that would pose a threat to them, but that never seemed to satisfy Kiba. The white-furred wolf, as lax and gentle as he was, always appeared to be on edge. Perhaps Hige was used to it, but it bothered Toboe.

What was out there that had Kiba so tense all the time?

Toboe ignored his growing fear of what might have been lurking in the trees, instead focusing on building his strength back up. He was dead-set on leaving, wanted to cross the mountains he'd seen in the western skies and leave his past and everything it entailed altogether. The jagged peaks and rugged terrain he'd seen in the distance didn't seem like an ideal place for a wolf pup to be traversing on his own, but Toboe would die trying if he had to. Anything to get away.

He pushed himself to the point of collapse almost everyday, and while Hige griped that it wasn't healthy and Kiba looked on in concern, Toboe kept at it. Frankly, it was the healthiest he'd been all his life, though he was still unnaturally scrawny, especially compared to Hige and Kiba.

It didn't go unnoticed. At nearly nine months old, Toboe should've been bursting with energy. As it was, he tired easily and had little patience for the games Hige sometimes tried to drag him into. Of course, he was still recovering from life-threatening wounds, but it was probably obvious to them that Toboe hadn't been in the best shape even before he was attacked.

Hige tried his best to lift his spirits whenever they left the safety of the den, though most of the time, Toboe was able to tune him out, too focused on walking farther than he had the previous day. Hige always stayed just a little bit ahead of Toboe as they walked, talking to the younger wolf or just to thin air.

One day, Toboe reached a point that the sound of his heart beating was starting to hurt his ears. He was terribly exhausted, and Hige was walking behind him for a change, assessing if the wound that had been dealt to one of Toboe's hind legs was hindering his ability to walk properly. Hige was usually encouraging, but something had seemed off about him that day. Toboe realized it when Hige said, "Shake a leg, runt!"

Toboe froze mid-step, and it wasn't until he felt Hige brush against his tail that he swung around, teeth bared and hackles raised. "Don't _ever_ call me that again!" He snarled, startling the older wolf, before he took off in the direction of the den, ignoring Hige's shouts of his name and the horrible pain in his left leg.

Kiba returned not long after and assessed the damage Toboe had done to himself, prodding at young wolf's leg with his paws and then his teeth, trying to see how much Toboe could bear. "I think you wrenched a muscle." The white-furred wolf said eventually, his tone apologetic when Toboe released a groan of frustration. "The wound is bleeding a little again. You should take it easy."

"Yeah." Toboe muttered, refusing to look at Hige. The guilt that consumed him after he snapped at the older wolf still clawed at his insides. He hated that those phantom memories of his past still got to him enough to make Toboe that angry, but he could hardly control it.

Hige's innocent comment had triggered some monster within Toboe, the exact thing he'd been running from in the first place. Once upon a time, that sort of thing had been encouraged. If the little runt had enough spunk in him to be feisty, then so did everyone else in the pack.

He'd been an example, an unwanted but useful anomaly; and for the first time, Toboe found himself wondering if he really was just as vicious as they'd always wanted him to be.


	5. Chapter 5

That night, Toboe had trouble sleeping. He couldn't say why, exactly, only knew that the sounds of Hige's and Kiba's breathing didn't lull him to sleep like they usually did. Perhaps it was the dull ache in his leg or the knot in his stomach, both afflictions demanding every ounce of Toboe's attention and refusing to let him stray for even a second.

The wolf pup watched Kiba and Hige for a while, tawny eyes half-lidded in the dark. He still felt badly for snapping at Hige, but the guilt had dissipated somewhat. Hige hadn't exactly been asking for it, but he should've just kept his mouth shut instead of letting his impatience shine through; but then, Toboe in turn should've managed his own temper.

Toboe sighed softly, tucking his tail closer to his body as a cold wind managed to reach him from the mouth of the den. Hige shifted slightly in his sleep, jostling Kiba's head a little – which was resting in the curve of Hige's spine – though the white-furred wolf didn't move an inch.

The older two wolves always slept like that, curled around one another with Kiba's head laying on some part of Hige's back. Toboe wasn't sure why. As far as he could tell, they weren't litter mates. Rogue males normally didn't act that relaxed around one another, even if they were in some sort of coalition.

Frustrated enough to give up on sleeping, Toboe slowly worked up the incentive to get to his paws. He moved slowly so as not to wake Hige and Kiba, and he trod carefully through the leaves as he crept up the short tunnel and out into the open, mindful of his injured hind leg.

All things considered, it was a warm night. Warmer than most nights in winter, anyway. The snow wasn't as deep as it had been when Toboe first arrived here, and he could actually see the top of his paw when he took a step. The sky was clear, countless of stars burning impossibly bright in the sky, and despite the cold, a warmth filled Toboe as he gazed at him.

His grandmother used to tell him stories about those stars, how they symbolized the hopes and dreams of every living creature. Even after his grandmother died and Toboe found himself alone in the wilderness, the wolf pup would look up at those stars as a reminder that even a runt like him had a star or two. He often tried to pick out which ones were his, or his grandmother's, or even Tsume's…

Toboe tore his gaze away from the stars, sitting on his haunches heavily and allowing his head to hang. "Granny." He said, staring forlornly at the snow surrounding his paws. "I know you said to never give up on finding Paradise, but… I don't want to go there alone."

"What was that?"

Toboe flinched, swinging his head around to find Kiba standing at the entrance to the den, shaking his fur free of any dirt and leaves before trotting over to Toboe's side. "Oh, I was just… talking to myself." Toboe stammered, pawing at the snow nervously as Kiba sat down beside him. Hige he could handle, but he wasn't around Kiba nearly as much.

"I can see that." Kiba was obviously amused, his voice a deep rumble in his chest, and when Toboe spared a glance at him, Kiba was looking up at the stars. "Could you not sleep? Is your leg bothering you?"

"A little." Toboe admitted, though he wasn't sure why. "But it's nothing I can't handle. I just have a lot on my mind."

Kiba nodded, looking away from the sky and downward to where Toboe was still pawing at the ground, dirt gathering underneath his claws since he'd moved aside all the snow. When the pup noticed the older wolf watching, he stopped his movements. "The snow is starting to melt." Kiba said, noting Toboe's earlier observation. "Spring will be here soon."

"I'm glad." It would be easier to travel in the spring without worrying about the cold making his wounds ache, among other things. "I can't imagine staying down in the den for a few more months."

"It would do you some good. You really don't do much playing." Kiba said, as if it were something Toboe hadn't realized before. "Your health would probably improve faster if you moved around a bit more."

"I don't really care about playing." That wasn't necessarily true; Toboe had just never been given the opportunity to mess around when he was younger. At this point, he was just too tired for it. He hoped Kiba wouldn't ask why that was. "It's… boring."

Toboe could've bitten himself. Play hadn't been fun when he was younger, but that was only because there weren't other puppies to join him, nor was there anything to actually play _with._ Of course Kiba wouldn't understand that.

But the older wolf said nothing. He didn't even give Toboe an odd look, only shifted a little so he could scratch behind his right ear with his hind leg. "You'll be leaving us soon, then." He said suddenly. "Once the snow melts completely."

Toboe blinked owlishly. "Yeah, I guess."

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Over the mountains."

"On your own?"

"No. I have a friend… but we were separated at the start of the winter." Toboe said quietly, reminded of his dreams. A horrible shiver went down his spine, setting his fur on edge. He wanted to believe what he was saying, but smelling all that blood… and after all this time… it couldn't be possible. Toboe would be on his own once he left here. "We'll be travelling together."

Kiba relaxed slightly, and Toboe felt a lurch in the pit of his stomach. "Well, that's good. We've enjoyed having you, you know."

"I've enjoyed being here." Toboe said, and he was startled at the realization, had spent so long trying to hate being with them. "Honestly, I was a little tired of running."

"That, I can understand." Kiba said, getting to his paws before Toboe had a chance to ask him what he meant. "Well, we should get back. Hige will only complain if he wakes up and we're gone."

Toboe huffed, though his tail was dragging through the snow behind him in response to his amusement. "We wouldn't want that."

And so Toboe followed Kiba back into the warmth of the den, and although every fiber of his being was suddenly telling him to do just the opposite, he settled down in his lonesome corner, set apart from the only wolves to ever treat him as if he was worth something.


	6. Chapter 6

Toboe steadily healed from his injuries, though his torn ear would always serve as a reminder of that awful winter spent mostly on his own. He settled into Hige and Kiba's routine with little trouble, finding it much easier to deal with the two wolves now that he had a clear goal in mind as to what he would do after he left them.

The mountains. They were his only salvation. He'd forgotten a lot where his old pack was concerned, mostly as a means to protect himself, but the wolf did know with the utmost certainty that none of them, not even the alphas, would dare try to cross the mountains. What happened once – and if – Toboe managed to cross them was anyone's guess, but he wasn't going to be deterred. He owed Tsume that much, at least.

The nightmares didn't go away. They only grew worse with time if anything, and it got to a point where Toboe didn't have a prayer of hiding their existence from either of the wolves who'd saved his life. Neither Hige nor Kiba had anything to say to him in the morning about how his whimpers kept them awake at night, but Toboe knew what was happening.

His own inability to keep his terror at bay was what had driven him from his home in the first place. Toboe wasn't a wolf skilled at keeping secrets, but the ones that he did have, he guarded fiercely, kept them caged and comfortable in a slot of his brain rarely used or visited.

The rest of the winter passed with little difficulty. Toboe actually got around to playing in the snow once or twice, but only when Kiba was gone and Hige wasn't paying attention. Some part of him still expected for the two of them to turn on him, even if they'd never done anything to suggest that they would.

They were just so… secretive. Toboe had stayed in their den for months and yet he knew next to nothing about them. They'd been friends for a long time, that much Toboe could gather, but they weren't brothers. Kiba was fiercely protective of Hige, who in turn was fiercely protective of Kiba. They looked out for one another and protected their own.

Actually, the two of them reminded Toboe of a wolf he'd known what felt like a lifetime ago.

Tsume's loss still plagued Toboe. Night or day, there was hardly a moment the young wolf didn't think about him. Tsume was most likely dead, Toboe had come to accept that, but the guilt that clawed at his insides refused to die away. If he thought it over rationally, Tsume's death wasn't Toboe's fault.

But the fact still remained that he'd run away. They'd promised to stay together and Toboe had bolted like a frightened baby rabbit. The shame was enough to kill him in ways life on his own had not.

One morning, Toboe woke up to a nose pressing into his muzzle, and when tawny eyes blinked open, he almost thought for a moment that Tsume was standing over him.

But it was only Kiba, white fur so dim in the dark that it almost looked to be gray. "Come take a look." The wolf said as he pulled away, yellow eyes positively vibrant in the dark.

Toboe looked up at him blearily for a few moments, the last remnants of the scent of blood fading away into his subconscious to return come nightfall. "Huh? Is something wrong?"

Kiba shook his broad head and headed up the narrow tunnel leading outside. After a brief moment, Toboe hefted himself up and followed after him.

Hige was waiting for them, and Toboe watched in poorly disguised amusement as the older wolf rolled around in the dirt and grass despite the sneezing fit it caused. "Kiba, Toboe, look at this!" He barked, rolling onto his stomach to look at them directly, tongue dangerously close to lolling out of his mouth. "It's dirt!"

"We can see that." Kiba said while Toboe took a look around. He'd heard the birds chirping in the light doze he'd previously been in, but he'd never thought to question as to why they were all suddenly active.

The only thing that even resembled snow was Kiba's fur. It had all started to melt in the previous week, but it was completely gone now, having disappeared overnight. Toboe had missed seeing so much green, so much life, and he understood Hige's urge to roll around in it.

"It'll be easier to find food now." Kiba said, and Toboe realized that the statement was addressed to him when he found that the white wolf was staring at him. "Everyone will be out enjoying the sun and finding food of their own. Maybe now would be the perfect time to teach you to hunt."

Toboe's ear twitched while Hige jumped to his paws. "Lessons begin effective immediately!" The brown-furred wolf declared. His behavior was reminding Toboe of a pup leaving the den for the first time. "This should be fun."

"But I – " Toboe found himself protesting without putting much thought into what he was saying. "I have to go. My friend… he could be waiting for me."

"Those mountains are like a three day's journey from here!" Hige exclaimed, and Toboe realized that Kiba must have told Hige what he'd said about heading for the mountains. Toboe couldn't recall saying anything to Hige about it. "What are you going to eat in the meantime, huh?"

"At least let us do this much." Kiba interjected. Toboe ogled him. As if they hadn't done enough already! "Healing you up will have been for nothing if you die because of an empty stomach before you even get where you're going."

"I can go longer than three days without food." Toboe said grumpily, tail lashing. "I've done it before."

Silence. Toboe turned over what he'd said in his head and found the bewildered, somewhat disturbed glance Hige was flashing Kiba's way to be justified. The wolf pup had to struggle to keep his ears straight.

"Learn to hunt first." Kiba said eventually. "Please."

Toboe didn't see why it was so important to them, but he relented in the end. After all, there was no way they were grasping at straws just to get him to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

As it turned out, Toboe was a natural hunter. He was diligent in his lessons and did whatever Kiba and Hige asked of him. Killing was something he'd never been found of, even if it was for the sake of his own survival, so the speed at which he picked everything up surprised even him.

"It took me nearly three times as long to master even the basics." Hige said after Toboe's first successful kill on his own, nearly a week after they began lessons. Toboe had slid through the undergrowth soundlessly, almost like a snake, and by the time the field mouse he'd been stalking realized what was happening, Toboe had already pinned it beneath one of his paws.

"Some of us are just gifted." Toboe said, voice deceptively toneless, and Kiba barked out a laugh while Hige sputtered indignantly.

Toboe had never expected how being able to hunt freely on his own made him feel. He was a little over a year old at that point, so by all standards he was where he should have been if not a little behind, but before he met Kiba and Hige, he hadn't had the foggiest idea how to hunt properly. No one had bothered to teach him, not even Tsume, but that was mostly because most of his expertise had been spent trying to formulate an escape plan.

For the first time in his life, Toboe actually felt confident. Self-sufficient. Like if something were to go wrong in his life again, he might actually stand a chance at surviving. He supposed that had been Kiba and Hige's intention all along, and he was so grateful to them.

Everything crept up on him. One moment he was struggling to catch even the smallest of prey, and the next, Kiba was telling Toboe that there was nothing left for him to learn, that he would be fine if he just practiced.

At first, Toboe had been delighted, but then he realized… that it was time for him to leave.

He spent one last night with them, curled up in his secluded corner. He didn't sleep, couldn't have even if he wanted to. There was a knot of dread in the wolf pup's stomach. The den he'd spent the winter in was the first stable place he'd had to live in almost since his birth. It even smelled like him underneath Kiba's and Hige's musky, adult scents, and it made the mere idea of leaving almost unbearable.

Toboe knew he had to get moving. Tsume was gone, but he was not. He owed it to his friend to continue on with their mission, the dream that gave them a reason to keep going when it seemed as if the whole world was against them. Toboe had to reach the mountains. For Tsume. He just had to.

When dawn started to break, Toboe exited the den as quietly as he could. Goodbyes had never been his strong suit, and he couldn't promise to not whimper like a newborn pup if he had to face the older wolves. So, he stood in the early morning mist and stared off in the direction he was supposed to go, trying to muster up the courage to take a step forward.

That was when he heard movement from the tunnel.

"You leaving without saying goodbye?" Hige asked dryly, yawning so widely that Toboe could see his teeth even in the gloom, and Kiba crawled out of the hole right after. "That's not very nice."

"I'm sorry." Toboe said quietly, lowering his head in submission. He hadn't meant to make them angry. "I thought it was better."

"Better for who?" Hige grumbled, though he fell silent when Kiba nudged him with his shoulder. "I don't know. We're gonna miss you."

Toboe blinked. "Really?"

Kiba gave him an odd look. "Of course. You spent most of the winter with us. Getting used to not having you around is going to be difficult."

Toboe was doubtful. He really hadn't known them that long, and it was ridiculous how attached he was to them; but he was still a pup, young and impressionable. He'd been lonely when he met them and would be lonely again without them, but he didn't think it would take the older two wolves all that long to forget about him.

"Thank you so much for everything you did for me." Toboe said with as much sincerity as he could muster. He was eternally grateful, of course, but he'd never thanked anybody before, had no reason to. "I would have died if it weren't for you two."

They both nodded, and Toboe turned away, doing his best to ignore the sadness he could smell wafting off their fur. He took a deep breath and took a step forward, but then he couldn't move.

Fear struck him, fear of the unknown and of what he knew was lurking beyond the trees, across the river. Toboe doubted his old pack would come looking for him, but no one had ever successfully escaped before. He didn't doubt they would hunt him down just to kill him for running, like they did Tsume.

"Toboe?" Kiba said gently. "What's the matter?"

Kiba was a kind alpha, the only one Toboe knew aside from Tsume. The white wolf didn't abuse his authority, and he genuinely seemed to care for those in his care. Toboe felt safe with him; and then there was Hige, the jovial beta who loved games more than any pup Toboe had met. He was large and warm, physically and emotionally. He reminded Toboe somewhat of his granny.

He didn't want to leave them.

"I'm tired of running." Toboe found himself saying, and he swayed on his paws, suddenly fatigued. Not sleeping the previous night had been a terrible idea.

"Then stay." Hige said, his voice somewhat hopeful.

"Okay." Toboe replied without missing a beat.


	8. Chapter 8

It somewhat upset Toboe, how quickly everything fell into place.

If only he'd allowed himself to open up to Kiba and Hige before, his life would have improved in leaps and bounds.

The two wolves were overjoyed by Toboe's decision to stay with them. Apparently they'd been trying to find the words to ask for months, but they'd truly believed that Toboe hated being with them and would be happier elsewhere.

"It was never about you guys." Toboe told them with no uncertainty the same morning he'd tried to leave. "I find it hard to trust _anyone_ , no matter how kind they seem."

"We understand." Kiba had replied, and Toboe found that he didn't doubt the older wolf's words. "We may not know what happened to you, but we don't blame you for feeling the way you did."

"You guys are so depressing." Hige said blandly, though his entire body had been wired tight with barely suppressed excitement. "Don't you see how awesome this is? We can finally be a real pack!"

Toboe was generally turned off by the idea of packs after everything he'd been through, but the thought of officially joining up with Kiba and Hige after all that time spent trying to distance himself from them sounded perfect to Toboe.

As it turned out, Toboe still had a lot left to learn from the two older wolves. His hunting technique still had a lot of room for improvement, and Toboe needed to learn how to hold his own in a fight, as well as patrol and scent mark on his own should he ever find territory of his own someday, which Toboe seriously doubted.

But before any of that, Kiba made it imperative to establish that there was no true hierarchy within their group.

"It's all for appearance's sake." Kiba explained. It had been a few days since Toboe had decided to stay, and he was still struggling to find his place within the small pack. "I scent mark the territory by myself to ward off any passing wolves, but you and Hige aren't underneath me by any means."

"But that's – " Toboe struggled for words, unable to wrap his head around the concept. "I don't understand. Ever since we first met, everything about you screams alpha to me. I'm just supposed to ignore that?"

"I can hardly help it." Kiba said, almost petulantly. He'd refused to meet Toboe's eyes. "It's how I was reared. Just don't feel like you have to submit to me or anything."

"Yeah, really, Kiba's not your typical alpha." Hige had chimed in. "Tred on his paws and he won't do a thing about it."

Toboe wasn't so sure about that, and while he tried to do as Kiba had asked of him, it was extremely difficult.

Years of conditioning had been ingrained deep within Toboe's mind, and even though the young wolf was inherently terrified of most alphas, he still couldn't help but respect them.

In his old pack, failing to show proper respect to any alpha was cause for severe punishment. Toboe himself had never been on the receiving end of said punishment, but he'd seen what could happen, the ripped ears and torn fur, meticulously placed scars that never healed to serve as a reminder.

Toboe didn't think Kiba would ever do something like that, so it was a little easier to drop those walls than he'd previously thought. For Toboe, it was an impressive milestone, because the only other alpha he'd ever let in was Tsume.

He stopped sleeping alone in his little corner of the den, instead finding his own place within the curve of Hige's and Kiba's bodies. He'd been a little apprehensive at first, unable to find solace in sleep that very first night, but as he lay awake in the dark, Toboe managed to find comfort in Hige's warm breath against his torn ear, the press of Kiba's side against his back.

It had been a long time since Toboe had slept next to another wolf, and he'd almost forgotten how… _safe_ it made him feel. It was a testament of how close they were, and even if they hadn't known him long, Kiba and Hige were still willing to share their warmth and space with Toboe.

And for the first time in a long while, Toboe thought that things might actually work out.

* * *

Toboe and Hige were sunning themselves outside the den when they heard paw steps in the grass.

"That was quick." Hige said as Kiba approached, jaws spread wide in a long yawn that Toboe was quick to mirror. He wasn't quite used to lazing around just yet, but the wolf pup wasn't complaining. "Slacking on the border patrol, Kiba?"

"Something's happening across the river." Kiba replied tersely, and Toboe lifted his head, immediately on alert.

Nothing about Kiba's demeanor spoke of distress. His gaze was steady, and the fur along his spine was completely flat. Toboe could tell the white wolf was remaining calm for their sake, but if he'd come back from patrolling the area after only an hour, something big must have happened.

"What do you mean?" Hige asked. He'd lifted his head as well and was watching Kiba, claws tearing into the earth beneath him as he waited for an answer.

"I haven't seen any wolves from the neighboring pack in a while." Kiba said, ears swiveling as if he were listening to every sound in the immediate area. "They haven't been reaffirming their scent markers either."

"So… what?" Hige began anxiously, glancing quickly in Toboe's direction. "They disappeared?"

"I'm not sure." Kiba's responses were growing quieter, and he was hesitating more each time. He was thinking hard about something. "I'm going across the river to check things out."

Toboe's eyes widened, and Hige was quick to scramble to his paws, shaking out his fur. "I'm going with you."

"No." Kiba's eyes flashed, and Toboe shifted uncomfortably, able to sense an impending confrontation. "You stay here and look after Toboe."

"He'll be fine. There's nothing on this side of the river that even poses a threat to him." Hige retorted, moving forward to stand almost nose-to-nose with Kiba. And Toboe watched, suddenly feeling like an outsider looking in. "You're crazy if you think I'd let you enter another pack's territory alone."

"Hige – "

"Look, either you let me come with you, or you're not going at all." Hige snapped, and Toboe lowered his head back down to his paws, alarmed, as Hige's scent sharply turned almost sour with fear. "Don't put yourself in danger like that. Not again."

Kiba's eyes lost none of their usual intensity, but Hige's obvious fear was enough to soften his gaze, if only a little. Toboe wasn't sure what Kiba had done before to make Hige worry like that, but it only solidified the young wolf's believe that his companions had been through a lot together.

"Hige's right." Toboe interjected cautiously, drawing the attention of both tense wolves to himself. "You saw what the alphas in that pack did to me. They aren't going to stop to ask questions if they find you in their territory, Kiba."

"Whatever they're doing, it isn't our problem." Hige added when Kiba remained silent. "So long as nothing crosses the river, you don't have to worry about anything. Just relax, okay?"

After a long moment, Kiba seemed to relent, backing away from Hige a few steps. But Toboe didn't think it could be that easy, for there was still something about Kiba's demeanor that spoke of agitation.

"You know I can't help but worry, Hige. Relaxing isn't an option." And with that, Kiba was gone, leaving the clearing the same way he'd entered it without so much as a backward glance.

"Shouldn't we go after him?" Toboe asked worriedly, staring at the spot in the trees where Kiba had disappeared.

Hige had yet to move, staring down at his paws, deep in thought, but he started at the sound of Toboe's voice. "Nah, I think he got the message. He just needs some time to cool off, is all."

But when Hige turned to face Toboe, the younger wolf couldn't help but notice how downtrodden he seemed. "You care about Kiba a lot, don't you?"

Hige seemed surprised, head titled slightly as he stared over at Toboe. "Well, yeah. We grew up together. He's my best friend."

Toboe nodded, averting his gaze, reminded of Tsume for the first time in days.

"But – " Hige hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the spot where Kiba had disappeared. "We traveled a long time before we found this place, and we went through a lot. I don't think Kiba ever really learned to stop being afraid."

And while Toboe understood what it was to be afraid, probably more than anyone, it still baffled him that an alpha like Kiba could be that paranoid.

Someday, Toboe would find the courage to ask them about everything they'd experienced, and in turn, he would tell them about what happened during the winter. He would tell them about Tsume, about the pack they'd come from, about Toboe's inherent fear of alphas.

But for now, the young wolf was just going to learn how to be in a pack again. The heavy stuff could wait. Toboe was so tired of being afraid.


	9. Chapter 9

By the time spring completely set in, Toboe was beyond convinced that Kiba had been right.

Something _was_ happening on the other side of the river.

They didn't talk about it, but the threat of the unknown weighed heavily on all of their minds. Kiba spent more time patrolling than ever, sometimes spending multiple nights away from the den when the urge to stake out the riverbed became too great.

Hige started shedding copious amounts of fur, most likely due to the stress, and it wasn't uncommon for Toboe to have to clear out the den while Hige went to wash his fur in a nearby creak. In a matter of weeks, much quicker than both Toboe and Kiba, Hige had lost most of his winter pelt, but even then, the fur just kept piling up.

Toboe was more worried for the health of his pack mates than anything. The tables had turned since the winter, and now Toboe found himself nursing Kiba's over-exerted body, making sure that Hige didn't forget to eat.

Something was bugging the older two wolves, something other than the disappearance of the pack across the river. And while Toboe had wanted to give them their space, to not ask too much of them, he just couldn't sit by and watch Kiba and Hige deteriorate before his very eyes.

He hesitated for days, waiting for the perfect opportunity to voice his fears and worries. Toboe had decided to talk to Hige first, since he was more likely to tell him what was wrong than Kiba. Toboe didn't think Kiba would actively keep secrets from him, but the alpha would definitely keep things to himself if he thought it was in Toboe's best interest.

So, Toboe waited until Kiba left to go out on patrol, watching the older wolf carefully to see if he left any blood in his wake. The pads on Kiba's paws were cracked and swollen from all the walking he'd been doing, and even if Kiba assured him that everything was fine, Toboe wasn't convinced.

Once Kiba was gone, Toboe turned to Hige, who was grooming himself at the back of the den. With each pass of his tongue, Hige dislodged more fur from his pelt. He was growing thinner by the day.

"Hige." Toboe said, and the older wolf paused, tongue still half out of his mouth and ears perked to tell Toboe he was listening. "I'm sorry to have to ask this, but… is there something out there? Something you and Kiba aren't telling me about?"

"What?" Hige asked after some time, giving Toboe his undivided attention. Something about his eyes spoke of true guilt, and Toboe knew he'd been right. "What makes you say that?"

Toboe sat back heavily on his haunches, staring hard at the beta. "Don't try to deny it. The two of you have been acting weird lately. Kiba's running himself ragged and you're losing enough fur to line the entire den three times over. What's going on with you?"

Hige stared at him for a long moment, seemingly torn up over something. "… I don't want to scare you."

"I'm not the same wolf you met during the winter." Toboe said crossly, which was somewhat the truth. The young wolf had come a long way since Kiba had found him half-dead in the snow. The inherent fear that Toboe had carried since his birth was still present, but he was learning to overcome it. And now that he had Kiba and Hige at his side, Toboe truly believed he could face those fears, the insecurities. "Just tell me."

"Kiba and I… we're not from around here." Hige began slowly, and Toboe held his breath, wanted to hear every word clearly. "The place we're from, the pack where we were born… well, we're just a little more weary about certain things."

"Like what?"

"Like trusting other wolves." Hige said, tail thumping against the ground once. "That's why it was such a big deal when Kiba brought you back here. It was just the two of us for so long, you know? You're the first wolf we've let get close since we left our old pack."

And Toboe was honored – really, Hige and Kiba would never know how much – but that wasn't the answer he'd had been looking for. "So, what is it that has you so on edge? Hige, please, _what's out there?_ "

Hige fidgeted, a low whine escaping him. "I don't – "

A howl suddenly pierced the air, sharp with panic and urgency. It sounded far off, over in the direction of the river, and it was cut off almost as quickly as it began. Hige's entire body seized up, and Toboe whirled his head around, staring at the mouth of the den with wide eyes.

Kiba.

Hige shoved past Toboe and barreled out of the den, leaving the frantic wolf pup to scramble after him. A suffocating weight settled in Toboe's chest as they ran, as the sounds of fighting, of snarls and the snapping of teeth, became clearer the closer they got to the river.

His old wounds were still smarting, but that didn't stop Toboe from giving it his all as he kept pace with Hige, desperate for reasons he didn't want to acknowledge.

But it was all so familiar to him, the fighting, the desperation, the scent of blood, thick in the air. He didn't know the situation, didn't know how Kiba had managed to find himself in trouble on their side of the river, but he would protect the while wolf first and ask questions later. Toboe had learned his lesson.

He wasn't going to let what happened to Tsume happen to Kiba, not so long as he still drew breath.

But when he and Hige finally broke free of the line of trees just above the riverbank, Toboe found that their help wasn't needed.

Kiba was engaged with another wolf, yes, but he was more than capable of holding his own, lips pulled back in a furious snarl as the two wolves circled each other, both sporting serious wounds but still capable of fighting.

But past Toboe's fear, and through the rush of adrenaline that had overcome him on the run over, the young wolf caught a glimpse of a scar, etched deeply into gray fur.

He would recognize that Mark anywhere.

"Tsume!" Toboe cried, loud enough to be heard over the snarls of rage, and every wolf in the immediate area froze.

Slowly, the large gray wolf turned away from Kiba, golden eyes wide with disbelief. " _Toboe?_ "

And despite the confusion, despite the fear and the blood, Toboe darted away from Hige's side, sliding down the embankment to get to Tsume, body quivering with barely concealed joy.

"It _is_ you!" Toboe butted his head into Tsume's chest, making the older wolf stagger back a bit. His fur was wet like he'd swam across the river, but that didn't matter to Toboe. He kept as close to Tsume as he could. "I – I thought you were _dead_. I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Toboe, you – " Tsume didn't seem to know what to say, but that was fine with Toboe. He was just so _happy_ to see his friend again, so thin that his ribs shown through his gray pelt but _alive_ all the same _._ "What are you doing here?"

"I've been here all winter! Hige and Kiba – " Toboe froze, realization dawning. In his excitement, he'd completely forgotten about how this must have looked to his pack mates.

Kiba was still heaving from his scuffle with Tsume, blood staining the fur of his cheek as he watched the two of them through wide eyes. Hige had gone to join Kiba, pressed close to the white wolf's side as he stared at Toboe, equally as shocked.

"Toboe." Kiba said quietly. His voice was calm and steady, but Toboe sensed a lingering apprehension there, a fierce denial. "You know this wolf?"

"Yeah." Toboe replied, lowering his head slightly. Kiba and Hige were still showing signs of aggression, and he didn't know why. "He's the friend I told you about, the one I was going to cross the mountains with. We came from the same pack. Tsume's not all bad, I promise, he's just _really_ grumpy."

Tsume huffed over Toboe's shoulder, indignant, but Toboe's words hadn't dispelled Kiba's and Hige's worries like he'd hoped.

If anything, the other two wolves seemed even more on edge. They were looking at Toboe as if he were a stranger.

"You… You're from Darcia's pack?" Hige whispered, seemingly horrified, and Toboe's world crashed down around him.

* * *

Almost since the beginning, Toboe had been terrified alphas.

He cowered behind his grandmother whenever they drew near, watched through wide, tawny eyes as the hulking figures with sharp fangs and claws bore down on them.

She'd been a scrawny wolf, his grandmother, and the alphas only had to take one swipe at her to send her crashing to the ground, howling with laughter as the tiny omega pup scrambled to her side.

They never came to their tiny den in the rocks with the intention to kill. As the only two omegas in the pack, Toboe and his grandmother were perfect creatures on which to take out frustrations, and all they could do was endure the abuse until the larger wolves grew bored and left.

Toboe was _so_ scared of them. They protected their territory and hunted their food, yes, but they threw their weight around too much, and they were all much too eager to please Darcia, the Head Alpha of their pack.

Darcia kept a tight rein on the wolves within his territory, keeping them crowded together, but also separating them into groups so they were easier to control and keep track of.

Each subgroup had an alpha they had to report to, and each of those alphas bore a Mark to set them apart from the rest, a distinguishing pattern that spoke of authority and status.

The reigning alpha of Toboe's group had an X-shaped scar on his chest, and he was the only wolf aside from his grandmother that Toboe didn't regard with fear and suspicion.

Tsume had been around for as long as Toboe could look back into his memories and see things clearly. He was gruff and demanding at times, executing his job perfectly under Darcia's watchful eye, but he'd always been different from the other alphas. He was younger than most of them, softer, nicer, didn't push Toboe and his grandmother around as the others did, and Toboe had looked up to him a lot.

His grandmother told him that Tsume was a wolf to be trusted. Toboe's mother had died shortly after giving birth, and even though he'd been the runt of his litter, Toboe had been the only pup to survive.

But it almost hadn't been so. With his mother gone, Toboe had no source of food as a newborn puppy, and his grandmother told him that she'd feared he wouldn't make it. Darcia and the other wolves hadn't cared about the life of an omega, and they'd planned on just letting him starve.

But Tsume wouldn't let it happen. He used his authority and ordered a she-wolf with pups from another Mark to nurse Toboe until he was old enough to eat live prey. Tsume visited him almost everyday during that time, and once he was old enough, Tsume was the one who took Toboe back to be with his grandmother.

Toboe owed Tsume his life, so even when the alpha was at his worst, Toboe couldn't find cause to be afraid. When Tsume was around, the other alphas didn't dare bother them, and for the first four months of his life, Toboe lived relatively peacefully.

But then his grandmother got sick. No one even thought to help her, and Toboe was powerless to do anything as the only family he'd ever known slipped away.

He'd been despondent for a while afterward. The abuse didn't stop, not even for a moment, and Toboe often found himself wishing he had gotten sick like his grandmother, or even that he'd died along with his mother and litter mates.

Darcia's pack was no place for an omega like Toboe, no place for _any_ wolf that couldn't hold his or her own. The weak were the stepping-stones of the strong, the strong the foundations of the pack. And with Darcia at its head, nothing ever improved, never changed.

Toboe had resigned himself to a live of abuse and ridicule. At nearly five-months-old, he was smaller than he should've been, smaller than the other pups he'd suckled with. They used him as an example, living proof that alphas were superior.

The younger wolves practiced stalking on him, and Toboe was forced to endure as sharp teeth and claws dug into him day after day, forced to lie on his back or stomach as the adult wolves demonstrated how to make a proper kill bite.

Toboe grew used to teeth in his neck. Sometimes he wished they would make a real demonstration out of him and just end it all.

It was after one of those stalking lessons that Toboe refused to get up after they were finished with him, and after a few half-hearted attempts, the adult wolves and their pups left him alone on the forest floor. Toboe had wanted to give up, to forget, to _sleep_ , but a looming presence had stopped him before he could.

"You just going to let them walk all over you like that forever?"

Toboe sighed, tucking his nose underneath his paws, screwing his eyes shut. "You're an alpha. You wouldn't understand."

"I understand plenty." Tsume had growled, but Toboe hadn't risen to the challenge. He'd already decided to give up.

But just when the wolf pup was certain Tsume would leave him to his misery, he felt a warm tongue rasping over the wounds the other wolves had left, methodically cleaning Toboe's thin, brown fur of any blood and dirt.

"You can't give up just yet." Tsume murmured, and Toboe felt frustration and despair swell within him, because he was so _tired_ , and there Tsume was, telling him not to give up. "I'm going to get you out of here. I promise."

For days afterward, Toboe had turned those words over in his mind. No wolf had ever escaped from Darcia's territory before, and those who tried were swiftly caught and dealt with, their bodies dragged back to be put on display for the entire pack to see.

Toboe didn't want to end up like those wolves, but Tsume had asked him to be patient, to _trust_ in him, and Toboe couldn't help but comply.

It took another three months before anything happened. Toboe kept his head low, preserved his well being as best he could in hopes that Tsume would keep his promise of freedom.

"You're leaving, too, right?" Toboe had asked on more than one occasion. They could only talk about it when Tsume was certain no one was around to hear, but Toboe just couldn't stand the thought of leaving Tsume behind in Darcia's awful pack, even if he was an alpha, and an alpha with a Mark, at that. "You'll come with me?"

"Like I'd leave you to fend for yourself out in the wilderness." Tsume would say, tail twitching in agitation. Toboe often had to suppress the urge to pounce on it. He never really had opportunities to play, but with Tsume around, it seemed like an actual possibility. "It's about time I left this pack, anyway."

They left under the cover of nightfall. Tsume made his usual rounds, and once he was finished, he came to collect Toboe.

Everything was going well until it suddenly wasn't. As young as he'd been, Toboe hadn't thought much of it as Tsume grew increasingly agitated the further they walked, and it wasn't until the howls started that Toboe realized they were in real danger.

"Damn." Tsume growled, staring back the way they'd come as Toboe cowered at his paws. "It didn't take them as long as I thought it would to realize something was up."

"W – What do we do, Tsume?" Toboe whimpered, almost able to hear the pounding of paws against the earth. And while it was only just the fearful beat of his own heart, his imagination began to take over, and panic tightened his limbs to the point that he couldn't even tremble.

"Keep going." Tsume barked, giving Toboe a nudge that turned into an outright shove when the pup refused to budge. "I promised I would get you out, and I'm going to. Just _move!_ "

And move Toboe did. His flight instinct finally kicked in, and he bolted as soon as the howling started up again, much to Tsume's relief. They kept running until Tsume told him to stop, but even then, Toboe itched to keep going, despite the fact that his weak and malnourished body could hardly handle the strain.

"What now?" Toboe panted. Tsume had been standing stalk-still, ears swiveling atop his head as he listened to the forest around them, golden eyes darting to and fro in the dark, assessing their situation.

"There are two groups on either side of us." Tsume said eventually. "We're almost to the border, and they intend to cut us off before we reach it." Toboe shook his head, sides heaving as he fought for breath, finally realizing that they'd never had a prayer of escaping. "Toboe, you keep going."

" _What?"_ Toboe yelped, startled by the intensity he saw in the older wolf's gaze. "I can't just leave you. I won't!"

"You don't have much of a choice. If I distract them, you might be able to cross the scent markers and get away from this place. They won't follow you if you leave Darcia's territory."

"How do you know? What about you? Tsume, I can't – "

"I won't let them catch me." Tsume swore, leaning down to touch his nose to the tip of Toboe's ear. "And I'll find you once this is all over. Just keep running and don't stop until you cross the border."

Toboe almost refused. He depended on Tsume, respected and cared about him. He didn't want to lose him like he had his grandmother, not then, not _ever_. "But – "

" _Go!"_ The gray wolf snarled, teeth snapping dangerously close to Toboe's ear, and that look of raw fear in Tsume's eyes was the last thing Toboe saw before he turned and ran for the edge of Darcia's territory, completely alone.

Toboe wasn't the fastest runner, and before too long, the sounds of fighting reached his ears. He'd always had exceptional hearing, better than most other wolves, and Tsume always said it was a gift. But that night, Toboe wished he couldn't hear at all. He heard Tsume's every rage-filled snarl, every howl of pain, and before long, Toboe could smell blood as well.

No matter how badly he wanted to, Toboe didn't look back. Tsume had told him to keep running, and the young wolf did just that until he simply _couldn't,_ until his legs gave out and he fell with all the grace of a puppy learning to walk.

And Toboe waited. He waited all night, well away from the edge of Darcia's territory, as the moon traversed the sky and fell, and as the sun did the same.

He waited, and when Tsume didn't come, Toboe moved on, practically overwhelmed by the guilt and loss he felt, trembling with the cold, for winter was starting to set in.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go back and do a quick, final edit of this story at some point. If you're reading this in 2019, "Obliterate" meant a lot to me. I wrote it when I was struggling to get back into writing, and I took inspiration from two of my favorite things: Wolf's Rain and the Richard Adam's novel, Watership Down. I'm just really proud of it, even if I can tell that my style's improved since I wrote it. It's like my baby.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

For a long while, no one moved a single muscle.

The hostility between Kiba, Hige, and Tsume was almost palpable, and Toboe had found himself caught in the middle. He wasn't sure what to do, didn't know how to react to Hige's words, the obvious indications that the three older wolves _knew_ one another.

"… How do you know about Darcia?" Toboe asked cautiously, fighting past the suffocating wave of his own memories of the large wolf and the pack he'd viciously ruled.

"You spent the whole winter with them, didn't you?" Tsume growled, and at the sound of his voice, Hige's muzzle curled back into the fiercest snarl Toboe had ever seen. "I'm surprised they didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" Toboe glanced back at his pack mates, bewildered. "Hige? Kiba?"

Hige's ears flattened against his head although that horrible expression never left his face. Kiba was far more composed, but Toboe couldn't really tell what he was thinking or how he was feeling.

"Not here." Kiba said eventually. "Come on, we'll talk back at the den."

Hige yelped, shooting the white wolf an incredulous look. "You're not seriously going to show _Tsume_ where our den is. Are you _insane_?"

"And what am I going to do?" Tsume snapped. "Run howling back to Darcia with my tail between my legs?"

"It wouldn't be the first time!" Hige snarled, and what was left of his fur fluffed up dangerously as he took a step toward Tsume and Toboe.

Despite his fright and confusion, Toboe positioned himself squarely between the two older wolves, almost able to feel Tsume's surprise, Hige's shock.

Kiba took his chance to intervene, butting his head into Hige's side and urging the beta to head back into the forest. "Come on, Hige. Not in front of Toboe."

Hige growled, jerking away from Kiba and stalking up the bank and into the trees, but not before shooting Toboe a look that was laced with bitterness and betrayal. Toboe hadn't liked it one bit, hadn't understood at all, and his happiness at being reunited with Tsume had dampened the slightest bit.

It took a lot of cajoling, but Toboe eventually managed to convince Tsume to follow them back to their den site.

"At least let me look at your wounds." Toboe pressed. Kiba and Hige had already left the riverbed, but still, Tsume refused to move. "And you should eat something. I've never seen you this thin before."

"I don't need you looking after me." Tsume growled low in his throat, and while it stung, Toboe refused to dwell on it. They were separated the entire winter, and Toboe didn't know what Tsume had gone through during that time, how he'd managed to escape Darcia's territory with his life.

Toboe himself had changed a lot since they last saw one another, so it only seemed logical that Tsume would have as well.

"I don't know about all this bad blood between the three of you, but Kiba and Hige aren't bad wolves." Toboe tried one last time to make Tsume see reason. "They _saved_ me, Tsume. I would've died over the winter had Kiba not found me. Just give them a chance? Please?"

When Tsume maintained his stubborn silence, Toboe feared the older wolf would deny him that much and try to go off on his own. Toboe didn't know what he would do if he had to choose between staying with Hige and Kiba and going off somewhere with Tsume.

Thankfully, Tsume wasn't going to give him an ultimatum. He got to his paws somewhat shakily, and when Toboe jumped to help support him, the older wolf didn't even protest. "Whatever. Lead the way, kid."

Kiba and Hige were waiting for them just outside the den, Hige pacing back and forth anxiously, tail lashing, as Kiba sat with his tail wrapped around his paws, tracking Hige's movements with his eyes.

Hige stopped once the other two wolves made an appearance, Toboe almost supporting a heavily limping Tsume, but the beta was unmoved.

"Don't think for a second that this means we trust you."

"Oh, give it a rest already." Tsume huffed, sitting back on his haunches with a heavy sigh. Toboe hovered beside him nervously, anxiety making the fur along his spine rise. "I can't do a damn thing to you in this condition."

"You seemed to be holding your own against Kiba." Hige said drily, glancing back at the white wolf, whose fur was still crusted with blood. "Pretty impressive if you ask me."

"Can someone please explain to me what's going on? Because I'm really confused." Toboe blurted out, shifting his weight anxiously from paw to paw. "How do you three know one another?"

Hige shifted his gaze down to the ground, and Kiba tucked his head close to his chest, closing his eyes. "You asked how we knew about Darcia." The white wolf murmured. "Well, we were originally from his pack as well."

Toboe's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, what Hige had told him about their difficulty to trust other wolves made perfect sense. How Toboe hadn't noticed the signs before now, the young wolf would never know.

"I thought no one had ever escaped before?" Toboe said weakly, turning his head to regard Tsume.

The gray-furred wolf shook his head, tail twitching in agitation. "No one was allowed to talk about it. The only ones who even remembered were from my generation and older. Darcia couldn't have the hope of escape alive in the hearts of pups like you when the rest of us had already resigned ourselves to our fates."

Toboe found that he didn't like this side of Tsume, the despondent side that spoke like he'd seen far too much in too little time.

"How did you do it?" Toboe asked, turning back to Kiba and Hige. "How did you get away?"

"It wasn't easy." Kiba said slowly, lifting his head once more. There was a faraway look in his yellow eyes, as if just thinking about it were enough to suck Kiba completely into the past. Toboe understood that feeling well. "We weren't that much older than you, Toboe. I remember that they were grooming me to be a Marked alpha."

"Even though you were so young?"

"Age didn't matter to Darcia. I guess I'd proved to him that I was capable, and he saw it fit to reward me." Kiba's muzzle wrinkled as if he were fighting off the urge to snarl. "But I'd had enough of that pack. We all had. There were too many of us. It was so overcrowded the she-wolves were having trouble producing healthy litters. But no matter what we said, Darcia never tried to fix anything."

Toboe felt sick to his stomach as he listened to Kiba talk. He understood everything that he was saying perfectly, remembered exactly how it felt to be a member of Darcia's overly large, alpha-dominated pack.

It was almost enough to revert Toboe back to old times, but when he started to shake, there was the brush of Tsume's tail against his flank, and Toboe was suddenly okay.

"So, we decided to leave." Kiba continued. "Me, Hige, Tsume, and Darcia's eldest daughter."

Toboe was surprised to hear that Tsume had tried to escape once before, but he was even more so at the fact that Darcia had a daughter. When he'd been in the pack, Darcia only had strong alpha sons, but his mate, Hamona, almost never left their den. Toboe wondered if it had something to do with her daughter's betrayal.

"I didn't know Darcia had a daughter."

"Her name was Blue." Hige said, and the grief in his tone was so apparent that Toboe couldn't help but whine in sympathy. "She was an alpha like him, but… she was our friend."

"She offered to take the evening patrol so no one would be around when we left." Kiba went on to say. "We waited for Tsume to show up, but he never did, so we left without him."

"And lo and behold, Darcia somehow found out about our plan." Hige simpered bitterly, and Toboe was filled with a slow-burning horror at the implications behind Hige's words, the reason for his anger. "He came after us and killed Blue, his only daughter, as if she meant nothing to him. Kiba and I managed to get away, but Blue would still be alive if it weren't for _him."_

Hige was glaring openly at Tsume now, and Toboe's fears only grew as Tsume made no move to defend himself.

He was refusing to react, ever the impeccable alpha, but Toboe knew Tsume well enough to know that the older wolf was experiencing nearly crippling guilt and sorrow. Toboe could see it in the way Tsume was going out of his way to stay quiet.

"Tsume." Toboe began slowly. "Is that true? Did you tell Darcia about what they were planning?"

Tsume said nothing for a moment, but then he shook his head slowly. "It's… not like I wanted to."

"Oh, don't give him that crap." Hige snapped. "Just admit to Toboe that you sold out your own friends, you traitor!"

"It's the truth." Tsume shot back, and even though he hadn't said anything yet to dispute Hige's claim, Toboe believed him. "The alpha in charge of my Mark caught me sneaking out that night. I wasn't going to tell him a thing, but then he went and fetched Darcia and his sons and – "

Tsume stopped, his sides rising and falling with each rapid breath he took. He was growing more and more agitated, his scent turning sour with fear. Even Hige noticed, for the low growl that had been vibrating within his throat fell away quickly.

"This isn't a sign of authority." Tsume said suddenly, and Toboe's eyes drifted down to the alpha's Mark. "It isn't even a real Mark, just a scar, the only one that didn't heal. That was their method of getting me to talk, and I couldn't hold out against it. I'm sorry, Hige, I never wanted – "

The alpha stopped again, growling in frustration, and Toboe pressed close to his side, aching for all three wolves. "Tsume… "

"Darcia rewarded me for talking by giving me control of the Mark Kiba was supposed to head." Tsume went on. "And I accepted the role, even if I hated myself for it. I never planned on trying to escape again. I figured staying in that awful pack until the day I died was my penance for getting Blue killed."

"What made you decide to leave, then?" Kiba inquired, genuinely curious. "If you'd resigned yourself, what changed your mind?"

"A scrawny, omega pup." Tsume said with a little humor, and Toboe ducked his head when he felt Kiba's and Hige's gazes shift to him. "His mother died shortly after he was born, along with the rest of his litter-mates. You can imagine how Darcia and the others treated him. I had to get him out no matter the cost to myself."

"So, Tsume learned to put others first." Hige said, though his tone lacked the same bite it had held since Tsume first appeared. Toboe would even go so far as to say that Hige looked a little apologetic. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Tsume snorted, but even that didn't sound angry or bitter. And Toboe found himself wagging his tail, because things were finally starting to fall into place.

"How come you left Toboe by himself for so long?" Kiba asked. The wagging stopped. "His condition was severe when I found him. He was too young to survive that winter on his own."

"I never meant for him to be by himself." Tsume began heatedly, and to Toboe, it sounded like Tsume was speaking specifically to _him,_ not Kiba. "I distracted the patrol Darcia sent after us and gave Toboe enough time to escape. I had every intention of finding my way back to him, but… I was weakened in the fight, and they caught me."

Hige was pawing at the ground anxiously, tearing up grass and dirt. "How are you even _here?_ Surely Darcia wouldn't have let you live."

Tsume barked out a laugh. "He had better plans. They held me down and shoved my nose into this burning… _concoction_ one of the elder she-wolves made before banishing me from the territory. I haven't been able to smell right since."

Toboe whimpered, tail instinctively tucking between his legs. "You mean you… can't smell anymore?"

Tsume shook his head, teeth bearing in a slight snarl. Now that Toboe was paying attention, Tsume's nose didn't seem as dark as it had been before, wasn't as wet. "I can if something's right in front of me, but I can't follow scent trails. I don't think Darcia expected me to survive the winter that way, so that was just his indirect way of killing me. But that's why I couldn't find you, Toboe."

As if everything they'd already been through hadn't been enough, Darcia had to go and take Tsume's sense of smell from him as well. Wolves could live without it, but day-to-day life would become increasingly difficult, and it would be nearly impossible to survive for long without a pack.

And Toboe was furious, because Tsume hadn't deserved that. _No wolf_ did.

The both of them had spent that winter alone, not knowing for certain if the other was dead or alive, but somehow they both came out of it relatively okay.

"You do look a little worse for wear." Tsume commented, leaning forward to nose at Toboe's torn ear, a parting gift from the pack across the river. "You don't even seem like the same pup."

"I've grown a lot." Toboe said, standing at his full height, more than a little proud. He still had a long way to go before he could stand paw to paw with Tsume and Kiba or even Hige, but he was getting there. "Kiba and Hige even taught me to hunt."

"Did they now?" Tsume rumbled, clearly amused. Toboe had missed this, missed _Tsume._ The older wolf was like family to him, he'd been around for so long. "You'll have to show me what you're capable of."

Toboe squirmed happily, sitting down next to Tsume to prevent himself from doing something stupid, like running around in excited circles. Kiba and Hige were just watching them, yellow and amber eyes shining with mirth and intrigue, respectively.

"I'll never be able to atone for what I did." Tsume said suddenly, serious once more as he stared at the two wolves who had once been his friends. "I lived with that guilt everyday, and I still do. I should have just let them kill me instead of giving them what they wanted. If I had, Blue would still be alive."

"No." Kiba replied, and even Hige was shaking his head. "If you'd died, no one would have been there to rescue Toboe."

"I think it would have made Blue happy, knowing that you were able to liberate someone else." Hige added. "She hated Darcia's way of running things more than anybody."

"Yeah." Tsume said softly. "I remember."

"So, are we good now?" Toboe asked, shifting his gaze among the three older wolves. "No more fighting?"

"For now." Hige lamented, but there was humor in it, so Toboe wasn't concerned. "But hey, what's one more addition to the family?"

"Who said I wanted to join your sorry excuse for a pack?" Tsume retorted, but Toboe saw through it.

And from the long look shared between Kiba and Hige, they did as well.

* * *

The companionship between the four of them was amiable, and Toboe found himself seeking it out at every possible opportunity. It didn't feel right when they weren't all together, when Kiba was patrolling or Hige was hunting while Toboe stayed with Tsume and nursed him back to health.

It should have felt odd considering the amount of time they'd known one another, but it made perfect sense to Toboe.

He now understood why Kiba and Hige had chosen to trust him, why they'd taken him in during the winter and asked him to stay come spring. They'd seen bits of themselves in Toboe, because even if Kiba and Hige hadn't known it at the time, they'd all seen the same horrors, lived precarious lives.

The four of them found common ground in the fact that they'd all been born and raised in Darcia's pack. Their time there had warped them all, left them with scars – physical and mental – that would probably never heal.

Toboe wasn't the only one with nightmares, the only one who'd suffered abuse at the paws of Darcia's Marked alphas. As a beta, Hige hadn't faired much better, but with alpha friends like Kiba, Tsume, and Blue at his side, the ridicule wasn't nearly as severe.

Toboe learned that Hige and Blue had loved one another, and they'd planned on having pups of their own as soon as they escaped Darcia's territory. Within the folds of the pack, Darcia would never have allowed his alpha daughter to mate with the likes of Hige, no matter the strength of his spirit and character.

It wasn't fair, wasn't right, but Hige didn't seem to have any regrets. He missed Blue terribly, that much was certain, but the days he'd spent wallowing in grief and self-pity were well behind him, or so Kiba said.

Eventually, Tsume got better, and even if his sense of smell was irrevocably damaged, he was determined to pull his own weight. As an alpha, he joined Kiba in patrolling the territory and scent marking the border, and with the extra help, Kiba was able to spend more time at the den than ever before.

Toboe was content. He'd found lasting friends in Kiba and Hige and had reunited with Tsume at long last. He couldn't imagine asking for anything more, and for the first time in a long while, he was genuinely happy.

Talk of happenings across the river was cast aside. Kiba got over his paranoia when Tsume confirmed that the wolf pack on the other side was still there. He'd passed through the heart of their territory before crossing the river, and while he said they hadn't chased him out as they had Toboe, they weren't exactly welcoming either.

None of them knew why they'd suddenly stopped patrolling their eastern border, but they chose not to worry about it. Fatigue no longer plagued Kiba's body, and Hige's near constant shedding ceased.

It worked well for a while. They all supported each other, helped one another to get over the traumatizing moments in their pasts, and even if they still had a long way to go, at least they had the time to work it all out.

However, one night, Toboe found himself blinking awake for no apparent reason, trapped with Hige's head resting on the back of his neck and Tsume pressed close to his left side.

But he wasn't the only one. Before too long, Kiba was shifting, lifting his head off Hige's back, and Hige awoke with a loud snort that sent Tsume into a fit of irritated growling.

Still lying down, Toboe shook out his fur, eyes still fuzzy with sleep as he yawned, staring up the tunnel leading to the entrance to the den. He couldn't find a cause for it, but there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. And from the exhausted confusion he was picking up from the others, he wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"Did we all have the same nightmare or something?" Hige muttered sleepily, head jerking upright as he started to nod off again.

"Not likely." Tsume replied, slowly rising to his paws. "Kiba? Should we check it out?"

Kiba didn't have to reply verbally. He was up and moving in a matter of seconds, stepping over Hige'ds and Toboe's forms as he followed after Tsume.

"Wait up, I'm coming with you." Toboe said, turning to nose at Hige's cheek. "Come on, you, too. If something's going on, we'll be safer together."

"But _Toboe._ " Hige's whines fell on deaf ears, for Toboe was already squeezing out of the den after Kiba and Tsume.

The two older wolves were standing side by side in the clearing, staring out into the forest through narrowed eyes. Toboe cocked his head, trying to locate any sound that might have woken them from their sleep. But he came up empty-pawed, and that unsettled feeling only increased.

"Alright, I'm up." Hige said as he exited the den, jaws parted slightly as he breathed in the fresh air. "What's going on?"

"I don't know." Tsume said gruffly. "But something doesn't feel right."

Toboe knew better than to question Tsume's instincts. The young wolf refused to believe that Darcia had given Tsume control of a Mark just to reward him for talking. As awful as the entire thing was, Tsume was a skilled and capable alpha, and their entire pack had known it.

"We should go check it out." Toboe said, going to stand at Tsume's shoulder. "Maybe it has something to do with the pack across the river."

"Let's hope not." Kiba muttered, already stalking off toward the trees. "Everyone stay low. I have a bad feeling about this."

Even Hige didn't dare argue, and the four of them slunk through the trees silently, skillfully keeping to the shadows. Toboe heard an owl hooting in the trees, the rustle of nocturnal animals moving around in the bushes, and at one point, those things might have spooked the young wolf.

But he hardly paid the sounds of the forest any mind, was experiencing a sort of tunnel-vision as he kept Kiba's and Tsume's backs in his sight. He just _knew,_ somehow, that things were about to change again. Tsume and Kiba were too on edge for it to be anything less.

When they reached the riverbank, they kept to the edge of the trees, crouching down in close proximity of one another as they stared out over the water. It had rained a lot recently, and the roar of the river was louder than Toboe could remember it ever being, so it was difficult to pick up on any sound.

But the longer they waited, and the harder they listened, the more apparent the sounds of fighting became.

"What's happening?" Toboe asked worriedly, glancing up at Tsume. "Are they being attacked?"

"There isn't another pack nearby." Kiba said. "The closest one is further downriver, far south of here. Hige, can you smell anything?"

Whereas Toboe had the sharpest ears, Hige had the superior sense of smell. Hige closed his eyes, tilting his head up the slightest bit as he scented the air. Toboe wasn't sure how he was going to smell anything over the scents of the forest behind them and the river before them, but if anyone was going to figure out what was going on, it would be Hige.

After a moment, Hige's entire body seized up, and all three wolves looked to him in alarm.

"Darcia." Hige croaked. "I – I can smell him."

"Why would he be all the way over here?" Toboe demanded, a sense of raw panic coming over him. This was it. Darcia had come to take them back.

"I don't know, but I can smell blood." Hige hissed, the fur along his spine rising. "He must have attacked the other pack. But _why?_ "

Toboe stared hard at the tree line on the other side, trying to see if he could spot movement within the trees. But there was nothing.

"Before Toboe and I left," Tsume began, a certain edge to his voice that Toboe had never heard before, "Darcia and the Marked alphas were talking about expanding the territory. I guess that was his way of dealing with the overcrowding issue."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Hige demanded. "Dammit, Tsume, you always keep this kind of crap to yourself!"

"I didn't think it was important. I never imagined that Darcia would lead the others this far east!"

Toboe was beside himself with terror. He couldn't go pack to his old pack, he just couldn't. He never wanted to see Darcia's mismatched eyes again, one yellow and the other a foggy blue. Supposedly he'd been blinded in that one eye when he rose to power, when he'd challenged the previous Head Alpha and changed the dynamic of their pack forever.

"I don't want to go back." Toboe whimpered, ears flattening against his head, all the progress he'd made since the winter leaving him in a single instant. He couldn't return to Darcia's territory and allow the abuse to start up again, not now that he knew what it was like to be in a _real_ pack. "I wouldn't survive that again."

"You won't have to." Kiba growled. "I think it's time we moved on, Hige."

"Wait. _What?_ "

"You said you wanted to go over the mountains, right, Toboe?" Kiba asked, turning his head to stare at Toboe over the slope of Tsume's back.

The young wolf returned his friend's sharp gaze, bewildered. "Well… _yeah,_ but that was before… " Before he'd realized that he didn't want to be alone, before he'd found out that Tsume was still alive. He'd wanted to scale the mountains to escape the ghosts of his past, but they'd already caught up to him, so what was the point?

"It's our best bet. If we stay, and Darcia crosses the river, we'll find ourselves trapped between him and the mountain. We should leave now before he realizes we were here."

"But, Kiba." Hige pressed, seemingly as surprised as Toboe. "Are you sure? This place – This place is our home!"

Toboe couldn't say he was as attached to the forest as Hige and Kiba probably were. He didn't know how long they'd been living there, how long it had been since they escaped Darcia's pack, so it must have been difficult for the two male wolves to decide to leave the place they had claimed as their own.

"We can find a new one." Kiba insisted. "The four of us are no match for Darcia and his alphas. We'll be dead before the next full moon if we stay."

"And I highly doubt Darcia would take the entire pack over the mountain." Tsume cut in. "He may cross the river and take this place, but that's as far east as he'll go. I have to agree with Kiba on this one. Seeing what's on the other side of the mountain is our best bet."

"If you guys say so." Hige eventually said with some reluctance. "You think you can make a journey like that, Toboe?"

"Of course I can!" Toboe shot back, indignant. The prospect of leaving sounded perfect to him. The fear had dissipated somewhat, for in his mind, they were already leaving Darcia behind. "I'm the one who wanted to cross it in the first place, you know."

"Then it's settled." Kiba said, wiggling backwards, back into the cover of the trees. "We have to go _now._ We can't take any chances."

No one protested Kiba's decision, because even if there wasn't a true hierarchy within their group, they still instinctively looked to Kiba for guidance, even Tsume, who found it difficult to take orders from anybody.

They hurried back to the den where Tsume and Kiba made quick work of the entrance, filling the tunnel with dirt and pawing at the logs until the entire thing caved in. And Toboe found himself sorry to see it go, had grown somewhat attached to the cozy den in which he'd spent the entire winter recovering, but he knew they would find another den, perhaps a better one, once they reached the end of their journey.

"My paws are going to fall off, I can already tell." Hige was already complaining even before they reached the base of the mountain.

They traveled all night, mostly keeping silent, the four of them lost in their own thoughts. Toboe kept glancing over his shoulder, irrationally fearful that Darcia was already tracking them, but a few sharp reprimands from Tsume put an end to that rather quickly.

"Hopefully they'll just go numb after a point." Tsume huffed. "And hey, maybe you'll finally lose some of your puppy fat."

"I resent that!"

The journey was harder than Toboe thought it would be. He wasn't exactly a mountain wolf, after all. But they saw many amazing things, played in clear pools of spring water and howled to countless numbers of stars. He almost couldn't believe he'd planned to brave the mountains on his own, and it just made him all the more grateful to have Tsume, Kiba, and Hige at his side.

Toboe didn't know what the future had in store for them, couldn't say for certain that they wouldn't find another wolf like Darcia on the other side, but he was eager to find out.

The days of his puppyhood no longer nipped at Toboe's heels like the frosty bite of winter. His ear was still torn, and his left hind leg would probably always feel stiffer than the others.

Tsume would never regain his sense of smell completely, and even if he tried to hide it, he couldn't deny how his scent spiked with anxiety whenever Toboe was out of his site for too long. Hige wouldn't forget about Blue, and Kiba would always wage an internal war with his instincts, fighting against the alpha Darcia had praised and rewarded.

His grandmother used to speak of Paradise, of a place where all wolves could live peacefully together despite their nature. Whether or not a place like that actually existed, Toboe might never know. But when he looked up at the stars, tried to discern which ones belonged to his grandmother, his mother, and even his litter-mates, Toboe found that it didn't really matter.

Tsume, Kiba, and Hige were with him, as strong and as real as any fantasy or dream Toboe could've ever had, and even if there was no such thing as Paradise, that was okay, because Toboe had his pack.

They were broken, that much was irrefutable. For their small pack of four, nothing would ever be truly okay.

But despite all of that, for the first time in… _ever,_ Toboe was actually happy to be alive.


End file.
